Live Brief 2 - The Hook Man First Draft

After working on "The Babysitter" for sometime now, I was confident enough in the script to move on to the next short we will be working on. As "The babysitter" was the largest production, we worked on that one first, but chronologically it is last in the film, the first micro short is called "The Hook Man". I started and recently finished the first draft for "The Hook Man", which gives us our first introduction to our killer Jack. The story is about Jack and April who have driven up to a remote area to spend time together, like in many cliche horror films. April hears a sound from outside the car and sends Jack to check it out, after he leaves she listens in to Reggie Reynolds on the radio and then is attack by The Hook Man in the car and it's revealed to be Jack. Jack walks away and makes a phone call which links into "The Babysitter"

This first draft was very rough and was to introduce the characters and find a basic structure for the story. With setting up a lot of plot lines and characters in "The Babysitter" it was important not to contradict or mess up any of the timeline and keep things the same in tone. This story is much shorter than "The Babysitter" and has considerably less characters involved, so it's quite a short and tight script.

Characters:
April- Love Interest/ Victim
Jack - Killer
Reggie Reynolds- Tales from the Other Side Host

This is the audiences first introduction to Jack and the overall tone of the short, so It needed to set up both with enough interest to keep the audience wanting to watch. Who he is and what is motive is, is very unclear at this point and it creates quite a bit of intrigue which I'm hoping will pull in the audience. April is perhaps too cliched in her role and only serves as another victim to Jack, another risk he's taking throughout the story. Her role maybe needs more understanding developed and a little backstory to why she's her and what she's doing with Jack.

The producer and director have both had a read through of the draft and annotated changes and notes for the next draft. I have small changes to the dialogue to make and a few motivations for characters to incorporate to give a bit more believability to their actions.